WAYS TO TELL YOU ARE AN OBOIST (and proud!!!)

-Your non-oboe friends can understand you when you have a reed in your mouth, its just that frequent

-You know at least three ways to finger an F

-You have a fingering chart website bookmarked- for that 3rd octave...

-You know who Keisuke Wakao is

-You LOVE Keisuke Wakao

-When you listen to ANYTHING (not just classical music...) you listen for an oboe

-You know the difference between an English horn and an oboe

-You know that the beginning of Dvorak's New World symphony 2nd movement is definitely a french horn

-You know what a hautbois is

-There is more John Mack than hip hop on your ipod

-You hate flutes

-You know the difference between a Bonazze and Pisoni mandrel

-You totally relate to bassoons

SICK.

am i.

BLIND AS A BAT I TELL YOU!

As i write this post, i am quite literally pressing my eyeballs up to the monitor. I am sitting, craned over the keyboard, hands at a decidedly UNergonomic position, head inches from the screen, squinting like a vampire in sunlight*. **

Have i never mentioned that i am quite, quite blind? I am.
And today, 10 minutes before my dance class (that would make it 7:50pm ET, Feb 18, 2009), i accidentally snapped my glasses in half.

These aren't little mamsy-pansy glasses, so i'm actually a teensy, tiny little bit proud of myself. I broke metal and plastic and lots of money today! *Flexes muscle* Then, i come back to reality and realize that *woops* i NEED that hunk of metal, plastic, and money. So, now i am blind.
I hate my contacts. With a passionate passion. They make my eerie blue eyes look creepy-alien-come-to-earth-to-harvest-cadavers-and-eat-spaghetti-like. Well, that's the way I take it. To add to this hungry-harvester look i've got going, the bags under my eyes become more promininent than usual. Also, they showcase the fact that one of my pupils is bigger than the other. Yes, its a little-known, but still true fact.
In addition to all this, I JUST DON'T LIKE CONTACTS! They get itchy and sore easily and can fall out absurdly easily. Its just not right.

Whenever i wear my contacts to dance class, Laura or Rachel will ask me if i just didn't wear my glasses that day. I always have to laugh. Really, if i hadn't worn my glasses OR contacts, you would know. I would most likely be talking to a wall.



*Is this accurate? One would think vampires would squint not only because they are accustomed to the darkness around them, but also because they are extraodinarily sparkly. Oh yes, I AM one of those Twilightkids. (we'll save THAT discussion for another day...) Maybe it would have been more appropriate to say someone looking at a vampire in sunlight? I also could've added something about Edward Cullen, riding a shiny rocket on a sunny day....hehee...
** Also, i am listening to Little Shop of Horrors, but as ipods and musical soundtracks require only your EARS and the LISTENING SENSE, they pertain less to the current topic- BLINDNESS.

A funny, intriguing story commences

I read books. Really, i do. You would know this if you spent more than a minute speaking to me. If i go over a minute without out-nerding myself one way or another, i am on a roll*. However, as always, exceptions must be made.
CONFESSION: Last night, i did not read all of the assigned Great Expectations reading. I gave it a good deal of thought, which i feel should count for something, but i did not read all the way through Stage Two. I really do like Charlie-D's novel, i think its funny in ways that others (STEPHANIE) do not understand**. I just didn't have enough time to finish the whole bit. So i read all but 50 pages (woops) and Spark-notes-ed the rest. My bad.

SURPRISE! A quiz over all of Stage Two in Harbie's First Period, Honors English Class!! YAY!!!! It actually wasn't a huge-normous surprise. Just a baby one. Nonetheless, i felt some apprehension before taking the 15-multiple-choice-6-essay-question quiz. I'm sure you can relate.

BIGGER SURPRISE!! I actually got it! The multiple choices were a breeeeeze, even without the help of Sparky Note. And the essays weren't SO bad, just about disappointment, quotes, and -who saw it coming?- that ever-present Loss Of Innocence.

UNTIL: Wait, what's this?!?! A quote i don't recognise? From the bit i didn't read?!? Unthinkable!!!! HOW DARE HE?
I was faced with limited options. 1)Leave it blank. {Really? That's how low i've sunk? No, Maddi will never leave a question BLANK. Unless those are the directions. Or i'm trying to make a statement.} 2)Completely bull-pants an answer out of nowhere, but with utter confidence, so as to convince even the faintest of hearts. {Ummm, i don't have the *chutzpah*} 3)Be totally smarmy and snarky. {Again, lack of confident swagger and courage. But with a more positive connotation.} 4) JUST GUESS! {But what if i'm WRONG?!?} 5)A combination of numbers 2,3, and 4. But with some self-depreciating humour tossed in. {Really, why not?}

Guess which Yours Truly chose?

I wrote down (and i quote): "I unfortunately fail to recall reading this quote. However, if i were to hazard a guess as to who did indeed say it, i would say...." And i went on to bumble a little bit. Quite aimlessly.
I walked sheepishly up to the front of the room. I turned it in.
In my mind, this is the ultimate act of rebellion. Ish.

As soon as my tail-bone hit the hard blue chair at my desk, i whipped out Good Old Expectys to see who (whom?) really said that.
Without meaning to, i opened directly to the page in question, immediately saw the quote.

FURTHER SURPRISES!!!!: I was right. 100% (give or take a teensy bit) right. Really. Person, time, place, speaking to whom, placement of the moons. I just stared for a little bit. Complete and utter disbelief.
Allow me to be Frank (Or Georgie?) when i say how much i DID NOT KNOW the answer. REALLY A HUUUGE LOT. I smiled a whole lot at that moment.

Now i am just left wondering if i should maybe have leaned entirely towards option number 2 and gotten full-credit. I'm sure i'll get something marked off in the current state for "unsuredness" or the like. Ah, well. One miracle per day.
Or something.




*It should be known that if i don't out-nerd myself in the ways of literature, i'll probably have done it with pointless music trivia. Case in point: In the U.K., they call eight-notes "crotchets". heheee.
**Definitely a discussion-worthy topic. *tucks away*

You NEED To Watch This

Now.

Dore Mifa emotes and expresses sadness

Let me start off by saying that this post was going to be about my current oboe crisis and general unhappiness with the world.
A tragedy, nay, a TRAVESTY has occurred now that overshadows it all. How naive i was to be worried about next year when i now find myself wondering how i will get through TOMORROW on cds alone.
Yes, it is true. At 8:20, February 5, 2009, my ipod, my beloved, cherished, dependable 80g ipod committed suicide. She has been hooked up to itunes since then, with the same screen showing, in a permanent 'lock'. My ipod has acted like this before, but never to this degree. Yes, she is quite the drama queen, freezing occasionally, crying when i sync to many cds at once and draining batteries with record speed. But always, ALWAYS coming back to life. Now, she is still, lifeless.
It begs the question- what did i do to her that she needed to remind me of her importance in my life? Did the name "baby" not suit her? Did i let strangers listen to her one too many times? Did i overfill her with podcasts?

More on this later.....

NEW SHTUFF ON MY BLOGGGG!

You may notice i'm incredibly fancy, high-tech, and prone to creating happiness wherever i go. You may also NOT notice this, but that is no fault of mine. ANYVAY, from here on out, i'm attempting to utilize* all the wonders blogger throws out for me to grab with whatever appendage ISN'T typing. Which most of the time, is my toes. So if the links are a little stinky....Entirely kidding here. I'll grab the blogging extras with my medusa-like hair, of course. :)
Just wanted to add that in. Also, pay close attention to when i Enter and when i double-space Enter. It makes a difference. Ooh, and PAY HEED, my friends, to how every fourth word i 'caps lock' on. It will lead you to find my secret CD stash, the eighteenth Harry Potter, Robin de Jesus, Jeffy Bowen, and the REAL Breaking Dawn. :) GO LOOK!




*nice word, yes? :)

Lessons from 'The Heights' (PART III!)

As most of my posts begin, here is a *AH SHOOT! WHAT IS THAT CALLED!?!?!? LIKE A FOREWORD...ONLY DIFFERENT!* preface before the rest of the thrilling, thrilling post.

This is Part III. NOT Part II, as some would suggest should rightfully follow the previous Part I. Wellll, no. That's not what is happening. You see, I was making cookies today, listening to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me**. That is, until it ended. The problem with listening to NPR shows on your IPOD as opposed to the RADIO when they actually air, is that they are SO MUCH shorter without the commercials. The problem was easily fixed by listening to the original broadway cast recording of IN THE HEIGHTS!!!
At this point, vous enfants are likely to scratch thine heads with an odd look and question my sanity. "DORE MIFA!" you will shout, "I was just getting used to the CLEVELAND HEIGHTS cast! The SBL, the HYT gang. WHAT ARE YOU DOING adding a BROADWAY SHOW to this story?!?! Do you think going out of order in your posts will earn you love as it did to countless authors and movie producers?! REALLY?!?!?".
To this, i shake my head. For one thing, when i have the need to blog on something, it MATTERS NOT if i am madly out of order. I will blog. You will deal. :) For another thing, a Broadway Show is always appreciated.

In the Heights is super-duper fly. I'm saying this honestly and happily. It really is! I will reiterate: IN THE HEIGHTS ROCKS MY SOCKS! :)
Moreover, this Lin-Manuel Miranda-created show does not just sound spectacular, the people are really swell too! I know this, not only because i am entirely psychic, but also because i once heard an interview with the orchestrators. They were incredibly fabulous men. IF you are one of those *pffft* Skeptical People, you may look here. ANYONE who ridicules the HSM franchise while simultaneously plugging their show, looking extraordinarily amazing, kicking Zac Shmefron's derierre and RAPPING cannot be bad. Not bad a'tall***. Further proof. And more! PLUS they lovingly**** mock "Legally Blonde: the Musical: the search for Elle Woods: thelongesttitleforarealityshowsinceforever"!

The only exxtreme love i have seen like this, where Broadway Stars show the Public and un-stars and Underlings and Peasants.....aaah, i keep losing my train of thought because first i had to eat a cookie and just now i had to unload the dishwasher and you know how the silverware- the knives in particular- will NEVER get clean?!?? Well its true. Anyway back to your regularly scheduled program: Much Love, is in the case of [Title of Show]. Those kiddies/superhumans had a regular Youtube tv show going for a while! WOO! I love [Tos] lots, too.


In conclusion, i just needed to have a post with innumerable links, lots of HIL-arious Youtube videos and get my SUPERCRAZYHAPPYOBSESSED Musical opinion out there. Trust me, there will be many to follow.





*This, my friends, is a peak into my brain. The insanity behind the...er....genius.

**The NPR show, with Peter Sagal and Carl Kasell. Its absurdly awesome. Keeps me *informed*. :)
***pronounced exactly as it looks: uh-tall.
****You can tell its lovingly, because Seth Rudetsky and a bunch of other LBTMTSFEW cronies are a part of it.

Lessons From 'The Heights' (Part I)

First off, i would like to clear up the confusion i have no doubt started with this title. I DON'T mean "In the Heights", that fabulous Broadway show by/starring Lin-Manuel Miranda (Also known as RENT for latinos :)). No, we are saving that razzle-dazzle discussion for another day. TODAY, my friends, we are discussing a small part of Cleveland including, but not limited to, Coventry- and more importantly, TOMMY'S on Coventry-, Wiley Middle School, Heights High, that Whole Foods store, and a bunch of nice Macy's.
Yesterday, I went to Cleveland Heights to see Heights Youth Theatre's production of Godspell. Let it be said, it was pretty spiffy. Except i was approximately 20 minutes late. So I MISSED THE OPENING NUMBER! >:( I love that opening number. Ah well, i still saw the rest of the show. Which was pretty fantastic. The kids are uber-talented, the creative team clearly knew what they were doing, and overall IT LOOKED LIKE SO MUCH FUN! Honestly, everyone in the cast just looked like they were having a blast! Made me smile lots. :) One of the best parts, however, was not onstage, but during intermission. I was walking around like a little lost loon* eating my reese's pieces (yummmmm) and looking at the incredible artwork in the hallway when i heard IT. There, down the hallway, behind that horrible little gate saying "Cast and Crew ONLY beyond this point", they were SINGING! "MAMA WHO BORE ME"! FROM SPRING AWAKENING! A CAPELLA! MANY PARTS!!
It was really quite incredible. I mean, they were GOOD! I just stood there, staring at a mediocre stained-glass project WAY longer than it merited, just to hear them sing. It was splendiferous, and i am incredibly lucky to have witnessed it.
I know i have re-iterated on many-an occasion how much i want to get into Youth Theatre. And also, how much i DON'T want to do oh-pa. But maybe HYT is the place for a DoreMifa? Theyre almost as good as Near West Theatre, whom i love with all my heart.**

So, after this examplary fabulousnessss, what did my family do? WELL? What does any family do if they are in Cleveland Heights, at Wiley Middle School? THEY GO TO WHOLE FOODS DOWN THE STREET OF COURSE! Don't even tell me you didn't know. Anyway, we Totally went to Whole Foods down the street at that moment. It was a pretty spiffy experience. There's this whole *feeling* at Whole Foods. This "WE'RE shopping local and organic!"-vibe. Its NOT bad, let me tell you.
We wandered around looking at fresh foods, ostrich eggs (not even kidding here) and while Mama purchased happiness in the form of food, i took pictures on my phone of REALLY BIG CHEESE! Let me explain. The exhiliration i get from REALLY BIG CHEESE isn't totally random. Its part of the exhiliration i get from this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpzEF0D2xfE. Yes my friends, you have seen correctly. Those are people of Englishness running, sliding, rolling down a hill FOR CHEESE! More accurately, for REALLY BIG CHEESE! So i was incredibly excited to see REALLY BIG CHEESE at Whole Foods. Its one of those Cleveland Heights things.
The Excitement only continued when i was walking through the aisles of happiness and i saw an entire aisle of TWININGS! Thats right children, the very same tea that runs through my veins is on sale at Whole Foods with more varieties than there are toes on the babies of the world! WOOOO! :D***

The incredible happiness ends here. (Worry not, it picks up later). Why, you ask? I'll tell you. I, children, was yelled at by a sassy black lady****. I'm going to be brutally honest here: iloveheels. Really, i do. As such, i use any chance i get to wear them. Going to see a play, however Youth Theatre-y it may be, qualifies. However, those who know NEOhio in Winter, fully comprehend the vague insanity of heels in the snowy, slushy wonder that IS cleveland in January. This SBL did, at least. Needless to say, to me, the joy of heels overshadows the coldness of snow/slush a million times over. I was just walking through the bakery section, and the SBL approached me, saying, "You put your boots on when you go outside, right?". Seriously. It was accompanied by an admonishing smile. I just laughed with a "You better believe it, Fabulous SBL" kind of smile. And then i went to the wine section, just following Mama.

The Wine Section, as the title suggests, is filled with wine of every sort. I honestly only went there because that is where my fearless leader, Mama, went. I don't usually test the 21-and-over-only age-old rule. HONESTLY. But when i went to the wine section this day of all days, Something Different happened. It may have been the heels. It may have been the authoritative way i was pushing a Twinings-filled shopping cart. Or, it may have been the experience, the maturity, the "i have been scolded by a SBL" look on my face. Whatever the reason, i was mistaken for an over-21. This was equal parts terrifying and exciting. Because although being mistaken for being atleast 3 years elder than you actually are is definitely Something, i had absolutely NO DESIRE to buy wine like an over-21. The thought filled me with dread. It also gave me a strange desire to eat a peanut-butter sandwich and drink a malt.

But vex not, dear reader. I soon escaped the bakery section, wine section, REALLY BIG CHEESE section and went to the checkout via the Twinings aisle. Just for fun. To my eternal happiness, my checkout man looked EXACTLY LIKE DON CHEADLE! I love Don Cheadle. The Ocean's 11-12-13 movies all tie for second place on my favorite-movies-ever list. He was ever-so-polite too, asking our super bowl plans (errr...super bowl?) as he bagged our organic/local produce.

THUS ENDS PART I. STAY TUNED FOR PART II in which we travel to the BORDERS of Cleveland Heights!!!




* Yes, my friends, that IS INDEED a triple-alliteration. Take pictures if you must
**Off on a much-needed tangent: NWT is doing Sweeney Todd this summer! WAAAH!! I MUST JOIN! I MUST AUDITION! I MUST BE IN IT! *deep breath*
***Just for posterity's sake, i bought Irish Breakfast tea. I haven't tried it yet, being in a distinctly "Darjeeling Spice Tea" kind of mood this morning.
****Apologies here, to anyone who finds this undeniably prejudice and whatnot. But really, it was like stereotype heaven!