So, i just got finished unloading the dishwasher and PLEASE TELL ME: Am i the only child in the world who feels so verry frightened taking knives out of the dishwasher and putting them into the drawer*? I hope not! It helps none, of course, that i grab a whole handful of them and just schlepp over to their assigned home. I just keep imagining them dropping and cleanly chopping of a toe or two.** And am i so wrong to feel this way??? I imagine there is a community of people like me out there somewhere. For us, there are little conveyor belts to place the knives on that will safely deposit them in the correct drawer. Augh! But what if the machine breaks down?!?! This discussion is now being stowed in the archives of my mind to discuss at a later date. When i'm not feeling so squeamish.
But, i digress. I'm listening to Mozart right now and not only is it adding some drama to an otherwise normal blog-posting, it also soothes my knife-fearing soul.
Today is planned to be "A Trip Down Memory Lane: Text style". We shall examine past texts that i have not deleted in my inbox. While it MAY be boring for you, the reader, it will be ever so beneficial and humourous to me. So, please DEAL WITH IT.
Now: Oct 24, Hallie sends a text filled with the wonders of baby-eating. She says, "Mmm i like the taste of babies. So does ethan. But he only likes them cooked..." Ah, yes. This is following the fateful Marching Band Game*** where Hallie declared she ate all babies. And then distracted us by pointing at the sky and oh-how-pretty it was.
It was actually pretty...
On the way to a dance performance, Nov 8, Anna and i discuss the probability of my being late. I tell her to cross her fingers for me and she replies, "hmmm...my fingers feel a bit brittle so ill cross my pointe shoes for you!" Neverending ray of sunshine, that Anna.
We move on to Nov 11, where Tessa declares herself "Delexkick". While we all know that this is indeed the truth, it still provides a laugh.
Nov 13: Tessa makes another appearance to tell me about the next day being "CHARLIE THE CATERPILLAR ACCENT DAY!". Lyss, of course, can assure you that it did, indeed happen.
Moving on to school-ly matters: Nov 23, Stephanies says of sentence diagramming "Thou art in a shrine harb built for you while he spends his day trying to figure out why he's an english teacher." How right you are, Steph, how right you are.
Barb says on Nov 27 that its best to have a "positive ATTITUDE about eating children...". I'm seeing a theme here?
Nov 29, i have done something wonderful and lyss tells me she will get me a shrine. niice.
Dec 05 brings more preaching from Tessa about the merits of INTERROBANGS?!??!? Yes.
On Dec 14, Lauren educates me on the speed of camel spiders "10 miles per hour!"
Crazed british home-schooled wizards are the subject of debate Dec 18, in the conversation between lyss and me.****
Dec 21 has Nick quoting [tos] fervently: SHE'S GOT THEM BOOBS!
Ahh, tis a sad thing, but i now must go. Good evening my children. :)
*This is where lyss says something snarky like, "Haha, maddi shouldn't be allowed near knives anyway!"
**Ew. Nasty.
***I'm sorry, you all might more readily know these as FOOTBALL GAMES.
****I feel quite sure it should be a me here, as "between" is a preposition, making "me" the object.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
you did noy jusdt grammar nazify a sentence with my name in it. *snaps fingers in "Z" formation*
ReplyDeletewha??
ReplyDeletei remember that happening. that, ironically, is the last thing anybody would expect ME to say. and I said it. yup. i did (grins in a Cheshire cat-esque grin that hurts).
ReplyDeleteBut, then again, quoting [tos] should be a daily occurrence. even if its one of the... more colorful lines.