What are you?

So, the other day i took a quiz.

Not one of those highly "interesting" memes*, nor a facebook type "What type zombie are you best suited to kill?"** test, nor a twilight-themed character quiz.

I took a BELIEF-O-MATIC quiz.

And really, how was i to resist? How was i to TURN DOWN the quiz that advertises itself with "Even if YOU don't know what faith you are, Belief-O-MaticTM knows. Answer 20 questions about your concept of God, the afterlife, human nature, and more, and Belief-O-Matic™ will tell you what religion (if any) you practice...or ought to consider practicing."

Woww. That's a lot to handle.

And i'm sure at this point you're doubting the accuracy of this quiz***, but really, the Belief-o-matic was pretty discriminating, asking good, in-depth questions. Precisely the sort one would ask when finding out, you know, EVERYTHING. It questioned my belief in a God, and bythewayHOWmanyGodswasthat? It queryed into my thoughts on the holy ghost**** and the big-ol-HAY-zooos. The B-O-M began poking into my rock-solid-ish beliefs on where the bible was right and notsoright. Where did i think i was headed after the unthinkable happened and i *erp* passed on? Did i respect the traditional roles men and women have held? Have i ever sacrificed a baby while doing a sacrificial dance of the moose?*****

I dutifully filled out AT LEAST forty-two questions on all things spiritual, i was linktually guided to a page holding my fate. I took a deep breath. Here it was. Was i right to leave the Catholic Church a year ago? Did popey-kins miss me? Did i belong in a monastery? SHOULD I BECOME JEWISH? All these questions and so many more fought for the main attention in my mind. Finally, i silenced the questions with a definitive click.

And here it was:
1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (97%)
3. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (97%)
4. Orthodox Quaker (75%)
5. Neo-Pagan (71%)
6. Reform Judaism (70%)
7. New Age (67%)
8. Secular Humanism (60%)
9. New Thought (57%)
10. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (57%)
11. Theravada Buddhism (56%)
12. Hinduism (55%)
13. Seventh Day Adventist (55%)
14. Sikhism (55%)
15. Mahayana Buddhism (53%)
16. Scientology (53%)
17. Eastern Orthodox (50%)
18. Roman Catholic (50%)
19. Baha'i Faith (49%)
20. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (44%)
21. Orthodox Judaism (44%)
22. Taoism (41%)
23.Jainism (34%)
24. Islam (33%)
25. Nontheist (32%)
26.Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (32%)
27. Jehovah's Witness (32%)

So here are my thoughts in pretty much the true-to-life order: whoa, that's so weird that UUism came up first, despite the fact that i have been fighting it for like, this whole year! WHOA Jehovah's witness??!?! MORMONS?!?!? Awesome, look how many times i got an eastern religion. Yesss. Cool, taoism. {i love that book, The Tao of Pooh } Scientology? That's odd. Hehee, Tom Cruise******. Oh, that's kind of disappointing that Roman Catholic is on here at all. Oh well, at least it's only 50%. Juddhaisim is relatively cool. Humanism. Awesome. Buddhism? YES! That's so exotic! Okay, now time to look at the top five [i.e. what actually counts]. UU. Liberal Quaker-what's that? Liberal Christian Protestants? Alright, i'll take it. Orthodox Quaker?? Neo-pagan...Wait WHAT??!?! NEO-PAGAN!?!?

At this point, i madly started researching Quakers {better known as "Friends"} and Neo-Paganism. I swear, it is SO not as scary as it sounds. I also went to see what exactly people had to say about UUism. Notsonice things, as it turns out.

So now i feel very conflicted. I really HAVE been fighting UUism tooth and nail for quite some time, in favor of a more Christian church. Linda considered me joining the congregation's Youth Group an Epic Win for her and UUs everywhere. But now i actually look up what they/we believe in and...i agree with all of it? Verrrry Disconcerting.

IN OTHER NEWS: I finally got to watch Across the Universe today. The verdict: i want to live in that world. I don't say this to be macabre, i just really do. The colours are beautiful, the music even more so. It was like a feast for my senses. I would be sitting there on the couch and without even realizing it, start singing along. Ohh, it was magic.

*i lie. I LOVE those quizzes. :D
**Because that IS le question on everyone's mind...
***I know I started doubting whe i saw those tms...
****Ooh, }spooky{
*****Just kidding about that one...
******Nice job, Tom Cruise, making yourself the first thing people think of when they think scientology. Way to curse a religion. }:(